Difference Matters

I don’t know what it is sometimes,

This unconquerable evil in my spirit,

Weighing me down and pulling down to the deep unknown.

It spreads like a disease,

Slowly shutting down my bodily functions,

Taking over my brain and my heart,

Till all that is left is a robot going through the motions.

I don’t get the point of this insanity any more.

I thought things were supposed to get better, not worse.

It’s as if clouds of inevitable darkness are looming over me,

Waiting to rain on my parade.

I feel like an infant,

Curling up into my fetal position and shaking,

Waiting for someone strong to come and save me.

I told you what I wanted,

What it would take to claim my mental stability,

And still you turned a blind eye.

If perhaps a person actually cared for a lowly being such as I,

It might give me the incentive, the heart,

To keep going for one. More. Day.

I’m so damn afraid of myself,

This tunnel keeps getting darker and I don’t think I’ll be able to find my way back.

I don’t care what it takes to make it bright in here,

But I need it,

I’m screaming for a solution.

Send me to damn Ridgeview,

But I’m not going to ask for it.

I’m walking around being held together by a few pieces of tape,

And you’re just too blind to notice.

I’m not worth saving if my death wouldn’t bother those closest to me.

Sometimes I think that I’ll never be loved,

Never be good enough for anyone,

And I’ll just rot away amounting to a pile of nothingness.

Stop your bitching,

I’m through with this shit you call the world.

I’m sick and tired of always not being good enough for anything,

Call me a coward if you want,

But in reality, I am the wise one.

I won’t sit and suffer for the next fifty years waiting to make a nonexistent difference in the world,

Just pick up a blade and say goodbye.

livelovedestroy:

This could hurt but I’d like to see how people view me. I know I’m not perfect and maybe some constructive criticism would do me good.

(Source: elizabethgeorgina)